


Blessed or Cursed

by Mystical_Light6



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel & Vessel Interactions, Episode: s03e06 Red Sky at Morning, Episode: s04e20 The Rapture, F/M, Insanity, Seizures, canon ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1418984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystical_Light6/pseuds/Mystical_Light6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy was a normal man, just like everyone else, until the angel Castiel came for him.  S3 and pre-season 4</p><p>Formerly titled "I Can Hear the Choir"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I do not own any part of the Supernatural franchise and even bits of dialogue have been lifted from episodes of the series. Those parts I have no ownership of. The rest is from my own mind and I am making no money for my having written this piece.

A handsome man in his early-thirties stood before the other mourners and shuffled his index cards nervously. He looked out to the crowd, took a deep breath and began to speak.

"My father was a good man. A great man. These past few days, I've been going over in my mind everything he taught me about life. About being a good father. About sports which I never really paid attention to, to be honest. (Several people in the crowd chuckled at that) He also taught me to never, ever give up on what you believe in. When he lost Mom a few years ago I thought, well - this is it; he lost his soul mate. But my father was resilient - held on for a few more years. Got to spend some more time with his granddaughter and his precious house that he built with his own two hands. And me. And...I'll miss him."

The man's blue eyes sought out those of his wife and she nodded approvingly and he gave her a nod back before leaving the lectern and retaking his seat by her side.

"Thank you James,” the priest said, looking out to the crowd. “Would anyone else like to say anything?"

* * *

The rain continued to pound against the windows as the congregation ran out to their cars. The weather hadn't called for any rain today or for the rest of the week. Perhaps it was God's way of offering his own condolences for the family's loss.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," his pre-teen daughter said while looking down at the floor.

"We'll be out of here soon, Claire," Jimmy said while reassuringly rubbing her on the back, "we'll stop for food before going back to Grandpa's."

Once everyone was gone, Jimmy Novak sent his wife and daughter to the car so he could say goodbye and thank the priest for his kind words earlier. Father Joshua had known his family for years, ever since Jimmy himself was in parochial school. He found Father Joshua in the sanctuary, praying with his rosary beads in hand. Jimmy coughed deep in his throat and said, "Father?"

The man turned and smiled. "Come on in James - I don't bite."

Jimmy walked further into the room while looking down at the floor (much like his daughter) and said, "I just wanted to thank you. I know it's late but my flight didn't come till seven and..."

"Its fine my boy. I understand you've been...busy."

"Work hasn't exactly been the most enjoyable lately."

"Your father told me during one of my visits that you worked for the radio?"

"Well, sort of. I sell ad space actually."

"Yes, I can understand how that would be..."

"Boring as hell - oh, sorry Father."

"No, no, it's fine,” Father Joshua said, waving off the comment with a laugh. “I understand."

Jimmy took a seat on a nearby chair. He wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. "I should've listened to my father. He said I should've gone into education instead of accounting but I thought, well, there's more chance of making money as an accountant than being a high school math teacher."

"Well, as I also recall, I remember a certain little boy of about ten years old writing a short essay about how he wanted to be, who was it? _Superman_ , when he grew up."

Jimmy couldn’t help but smile. "You remember that?"

"I do - very well done as I recall. You could've had a future as a writer if you wanted to."

"We should be going,” Jimmy sighed, standing up. “I should be - Claire's hungry and, well, thanks again."

Jimmy extended his hand and Father Joshua took his into his own and shook it.

"Good night James. I will see you in the morning for the burial."

"Right. And it's Jimmy. James is, _was_ , my father."

* * *

Amelia Novak turned over and the left side of the bed was cold and empty. She opened bleary eyes and her husband was nowhere to be found. Sighing she got out from under the sheets, grabbed her robe and left the guest bedroom. There was only the single nightlight in the hallway to light her path but when she reached the stairs, she looked down to see a light on in the family den.

"Jimmy?" she called out as loudly as she dared, for fear of waking their daughter. Amelia waited a few seconds before she heard a faint "Yeah?" in reply.

She walked passed pictures of her husband's youth and found the man himself staring out the window, looking out at the rain.

"You okay?"

Jimmy sighed and turned to face her. "How old is too old to feel like an orphan?"

"Oh, Jim," Amelia said. She walked forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he lay his head against her left shoulder while hugging her back. A sudden crackle of lightning made both of them jump apart. "It is really coming down out there," Amelia said, walking towards the window.

"Yeah, I hope it clears up. I was hoping to take Claire to see the Maritime Museum after the burial and before you have to leave for your flight. I heard that they have a real life ‘Hand of Glory’ on display and..."

"Oh, our flight's at one honey."

"Well, maybe Claire can back with me and -"

"Jimmy, Claire has school on Monday and she already missed a few days with the flu she had a month ago and -"

"Its fine," Jimmy said while shaking his head, "its fine."

Amelia gave him a reassuring rub on the shoulder and asked, "You coming up to bed?"

"I'll be up in a little while. I just want to...think by myself."

"Okay. Love you."

Jimmy smiled. "Love you too. I'll be up soon."         

* * *

Once he heard the door shut upstairs, Jimmy retook his seat on the couch and reached for the photo album he'd abandoned earlier. He flipped through a couple of pages, reminiscing, before a particularly strong bolt of lightning felt like it struck very close to the house.

Jimmy felt a wave of something thrum through his body and he jumped up to his feet and looked around. In that moment, in that very _second,_ he could've sworn someone said his name. But, Amelia and Claire were both fast asleep upstairs so he knew he was on his own.

Jimmy walked towards the window but stopped when a loud crash of thunder boomed overhead, causing him to jump in fright. The voice, _again_. His feet moved him before he even thought about it. Jimmy almost stumbled on his way back up the stairs and he reached the landing when he noticed the door to his daughter's room was open.

"Daddy?"

Jimmy walked into his old bedroom and shut the door behind him. "You okay sweetie. Did the storm wake you up?"

"The thunder was really loud. Can you stay with me till it's over?"

"Of course, Baby." Jimmy climbed into the bed beside his daughter and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Is that good?"

She hummed back in reply and leaned against him. "Was someone talking to you downstairs?"

"Your Momma was wondering where I disappeared too."

Claire yawned and shook her head. "I mean after she left."

"You...heard someone talking to me?"

"Mhmm - they said your name."

Jimmy stared down at his daughter and shook his head. "No baby. I didn't hear anything at all."  

* * *

Jimmy was still wearing his white dress shirt and black pants from the burial as he stood on the front lawn saying his good-byes to his family.

"I'll be home by Wednesday depending on how long this takes. A lot of boxes might be coming home with me though."

"That's fine but just remember to eat and sleep sometimes too. And you don't need to rush - the office knows you need a little time and if they do call then I'll give them a piece of my mi-"

She broke off mid-word as Jimmy reached for her, kissing her. Amelia wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss until an "Eww, gross" from their daughter made them separate.

"All right," Jimmy said, grabbing his daughter into a hug and spinning her in a small circle.

"Daddy stop, stop - I'll throw up!"

The taxi driver honked his horn and Amelia groaned. "We've got to go. See you in a few days."

"See you," he said, leaning over and giving her a kiss. He then leaned over and gave his daughter a kiss on the top of the head. "See you Bud."

Claire walked ahead of Amelia to the taxi and they both climbed into the backseat. Amelia laid a hand against the window and gave him a small smile and Jimmy waved in kind. He waited until the car was beyond his vision before walking back into the house and shutting the door behind him.

Three days later, Jimmy packed the last few boxes into the back of the truck he'd rented for the long journey ahead. Groaning, he reached up and pulled the door down on the U-Haul and walked around to the front and climbed into the driver's seat.

After adjusting the rearview mirror, he started the truck and took one last, long look at the home he was raised in. A flood of memories flashed through his mind and he gave one last salute to the house and drove off leaving his past behind.

* * *

Once he reached the highway, Jimmy turned on the radio and leaned back in his seat to get more comfortable. He checked his rearview mirror and, upon seeing no one behind him, turned up the volume. Using the seek button he managed to find a non-static station playing 'Joy to the World' by Three Dog Night.

A music connoisseur he was not but Jimmy knew what he liked. At home his iPod Shuffle was full of all sorts of music from classical to metal, from gospel to Coldplay.

The clock read 8:45 so Jimmy figured he'd take a break in a few hours to get a light lunch and probably fill his gas tank too. Then he'd drive a few more hours and stop at a hotel for the night before continuing the next morning till he arrived home. Sounded like a good plan.

Two hours later and Jimmy felt the truck vibrating in a strange way.

"What the -" he said to himself as he pulled off to the shoulder of the road.

A few cars zoomed passed him so Jimmy waited until it felt safe before exiting. He walked to the right front tire and after giving it a quick test, it appeared that he needed to replace it right away before the axle became damaged. Groaning, Jimmy went back into the truck and began searching for a jack or a tire iron or at the very least a spare tire. After finding none of those he noticed a maintenance number he could call. Slowly, Jimmy pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

When he put the phone to his ear he heard a car's horn beep from somewhere beside him. The guy sitting in the passenger seat of a classic black Chevy Impala rolled down his window and gazed at Jimmy while frowning.

"Hey," the guy asked, "need a hand?"

"No, I'm good," Jimmy said, waving them off.

"You sure?" a second, deeper voice asked and Jimmy just noticed another guy (also frowning) in the driver's seat.

"Yeah - don't let me keep you."

"Nice shirt," second guy said while smirking.

Jimmy looked down and blushed at his old Bon Jovi concert t-shirt he'd gotten back in senior year. So what if he went to the 'Keep the Faith' tour? It was badass at the time.

"Dean, shut up," the first guy said and turned back to Jimmy while shaking his head. "Don't listen to him - he doesn't like anything pre-the year he was even born."

"Hey Bon Jovi rocks - on occasion," Jimmy shouted back when someone on the line finally chose that second to answer. The guy honked his horn twice as he drove away and Jimmy quickly apologized and explained his dilemma.

"All right Mr. Novak, we'll send an associate out to assist you. It should only take an hour. Please wait by the vehicle and have a valid license with you."

"Right. Thank you."

And Jimmy waited.

He was luckily back on the road within an hour and a half and drove another two hours before stopping again in upstate New York, this time for lunch and to refill the gas. He pulled the truck into the parking lot of the first diner he found - Joe's: Home of the Finest Scrapple Outside of Pennsylvania. It didn't look half bad on the outside so he was glad that once he walked in everything appeared to be reasonably clean.

"Seat yourself sweetheart," a waitress said while holding a coffee pot in each hand.

Jimmy took a seat in a booth by a window that stared out at the parking lot. He looked down at the table and began reading through the menu before him with a ketchup stain on the corner. The waitress finally meandered her way over and placed a small cup of ice water in front of him.

"Good Afternoon, my name is Susie and I'll be taking care of you today. What would you like?"

"What's the soup of the day?"

"Cream of broccoli but we also have vegetable every day."

"I'll have a roast beef and cup of vegetable."

"Soda?"

"No, the water's fine."

"Okay then - I'll be back."

Jimmy had a good meal (and an even better slice of warm apple pie) before taking to the road again. The darkness was going to come soon and he hoped to fine somewhere to stay the night before going back to his family once again.

* * *

_There was nothing but bright light surrounding him. He looked down but somehow his body didn't even form a shadow in this nether place._

_JAMESJAMESJAMES..._

_Someone was calling out his name. He squinted in the light and could just make out a shape standing in the distance._

_"Hello?"_

When Jimmy woke up the next morning, the only thing he could remember about his sleep was a missing shadow. It made no sense to him whatsoever. Groaning, he left the sheets of his bed and got ready for the final lap of his long ride back to his family who was waiting for him back in Pontiac.

 


	2. Chosen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy is contacted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue is lifted from episode 4x20 The Rapture.

_6 Months Later -_

"...And in conclusion, our station would benefit both you and the community as a whole - but please don't take my word for it. It's all stated right in our company packet."

"Well we will definitely consider your proposal, Mr. Novak."

Jimmy bit back a grin as he put his files back into his briefcase - score! He picked up the case and shook the man's hand.

"We'll be in touch."

"Looking forward to hearing from you."

Jimmy walked down the long hallway, forcing himself not to break out into a little dance when someone called out his name.

" _JAMESJAMESJAMES_...Mr. Novak - you forgot your coat!"

Jimmy turned back and the man held out Jimmy's new tan overcoat. Well, new since Ames got it for him last Christmas and he's only worn it a few times since. It was the thought that mattered...even though the coat was too long and kept getting stuck in the car door and she laughed at the face he made the minute he even _opened_ the gift. It reminded him of those old movies and it just wasn’t really his style. Jimmy ran back, grabbed the coat with a nod and a slight smile and left before his face could be seen turning red from embarrassment.

Jimmy's Prius was on the second floor of the parking garage and, the minute he was in the driver's seat, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and first called Amelia to say he was going to be late since he needed to drop off some forms at the office.

"We'll wait for you before starting dinner."

"Ames, you don't have to wait - I'm already an hour out..."

"Jimmy, it's fine - really. Claire has her violin lessons today anyway till six and it's only four-thirty now. You'll get back in plenty of time to..."

"Pay the bills, get in touch with last week's potential client and call other clients I'm meeting next week. Oh yeah, that sounds like a relaxing night with the family."

"Jimmy, you okay?"

"I'm just...I'm just tired. I'll be home soon."

"Okay sweetheart - see you soon. Love you."

That finally got a tired but warm smile out of him. "Love you too."

Sighing, Jimmy put his phone away and turned the key in the ignition. He exited the parking lot and began the long ride home in total silence.

* * *

Jimmy dropped his briefcase by the door and hung his coat in the nearby closet. He didn't hear his daughter approach and almost jumped out of his shoes when he closed the door and she was standing right there.

"Hi Daddy," she said while giving him a hug.

"Hey Bud - how were your lessons?"

"Ugh," she groaned, to which Jimmy laughed and ran his hand through her hair. "Tell Momma I don't want to play."

"Claire..."

"Please Daddy." Claire then turned out her secret weapon - the saddest puppy-dog eyes he thinks he'd ever seen.

"I'll see what I can do but, you know what sweetheart," Jimmy said, leaning over her.

"What?"

"Your Grandma, my Mom, loved the violin. She was always so sad that I never took to it. When you play next time, imagine she's listening in."

"Like a ghost?"

Jimmy chuckled. "More like an angel."

Claire rolled her eyes again. "Okay Daddy."

"Atta girl. Now, where's your Mom?"

"Cooking in the kitchen."

He ruffled her hair while he walked off and there, in the kitchen, beheld the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. Amelia was leaning over, grabbing a roast out of the oven when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist in a protective bind.

"If you let me put this hot piece of meat down, I'll give you a better welcome."

Jimmy did as she asked and a second later Amelia wrapped her own arms loosely around his neck and kissed him as though he'd been missing for years instead of the day.

"How was work?"

"Good. Really good; I think I might actually get a signature this time next week."

"That's wonderful, Jim."

"Yeah..."

"What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. Forget it...so, roast?"

Twenty minutes later and the family was seated at the dining room table together for their meal. Claire reached for a roll but, good naturedly, Jimmy gives her _the look_ and says her name which makes her smile and put it down.

When Amelia sits, they all take hands and Jimmy prays, "Bless this food, oh, Lord, and ourselves to thy loving service that we may always continue in thy faith and fear to the honor and glory of thy name. Amen."

"Amen," the women repeated.

The family began to eat their meal when Claire, while running her fork through her mashed potatoes, looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy?"

"Yes Sweetheart?"

"Why do we pray now before dinner? We never did it before?"

Jimmy swallowed his food and leaned closer to his daughter, saying, "There are many people who pray before every meal, Claire. Praying is something that joins us all together as God's children and we should give him thanks that we do have food on our plates when there are so many people around the world that go without. Think about it like that, Claire - as a joining of God's children."

Claire gave him a look but shrugged her shoulders. "Okay Daddy."

When Jimmy put his hand down on the table, Amelia took it into hers and rubbed her thumb against the back of it soothingly. Dinner was a pleasant affair and afterwards, while Amelia soaked the dishes and Claire went upstairs to work on her homework, Jimmy took a seat in his favorite chair, in front of the television. Newspaper in hand, he turned on the lamp and began to read.

* * *

He didn't remember dozing but some time must have passed because the whole house is dark when he finally opens his eyes. Only the television remained on and he didn't exactly remember what it was tuned to but, right now, the only thing he can think about is turning it off and climbing into his warm bed. He tried the remote control but the thing won't work - probably needs new batteries or something...

The image on the screen flickered and changed between a picture of the earth to something else and then waves of static.

_Got to go to bed. Tomorrow's going to be busier than today..._

Rising from his seat, Jimmy went to the TV and pushed the power button on the screen. He turned to go but that doesn't turn it off either. What in the...?

The images increased in speed and velocity and suddenly a strange static-y, loud screech fills his head. Its volume increases, even after he brings his hands to his ears to try and shut it out. It feels like something is reaching out, touching him. It burns. Falling to his knees, Jimmy screams as it becomes too much. It's too much. What is this? What's happening? _What's happening?_ Amelia! Claire! Dad!

* * *

_It's warm wherever here is. Bright too. It doesn't feel like he's still in his house. He doesn't know where he is._

_"James Novak," a voice intones._

_Funny, that voice sounds familiar - but different somehow. He opens his eyes and, though it is still much too bright, strangely the light isn't so bad anymore. He can make out the shadow of something standing before him. They appear to be about his height, more built than he is but then again he was always the skinny boy in gym class. Took after his mother._

_"Who are you?" Jimmy finds himself asking._

_The answer is another loud screech that hurts his ears._

"He's seizing again! Quickly!"

_Someone leaned over him, covering the bright light and touched him on the forehead, running their fingers gently through his hair. It was comforting in a familiar way._

_"Awaken James Novak. All will be fine - I will be watching over you." Jimmy opened his eyes_ at the sickly green painted wall across from a bed in a room he didn't recognize.

"Jimmy, you're up."

Carefully turning his head, Amelia was sitting in a chair beside his bed. He looked down to see her hand entwined with his, her thumb rubbing a small circle on the back of his hand again.

"Hey Beautiful," he croaked, his voice sounding like he'd swallowed gravel, "What happened?"

"You had a really bad seizure, Jim. You've been out for almost two days now."

Two days?

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked.

Before he could answer, a tall man wearing a white lab coat entered the room with a chart held in his hand.

"Good evening Mr. Novak. Mrs. Novak."

The doctor explained that what had happened to Jimmy was not the fault of any brain tumor (which they'd scanned for while he had been sedated). They would need a few more days to run some more tests but it didn't appear to be anything life threatening.

"According to our files of your medical history, you have had a seizure before when you were young and the scans were inconclusive then as well."

"That's right," Jimmy answered, "When I was fourteen but I don't, I don't remember much about it to be honest. My mother was freaked out and my dad..." Jimmy had never seen his father so distraught in his life.

"Well Mr. Novak, as rare as it is, these things do happen and sometimes multiple times in our lives. We'll keep a close eye on you and you can just do what is best and relax. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you Doctor..."

"Grace. Calvin Grace." Doctor Grace gave the Novak’s a quick smile as he walked out of the room with Jimmy's file still in hand.

"I should probably go and check in on Claire; she's staying with my parents," Amelia said, rising and grabbing her coat and purse. As she wiped her eyes and turned to walk away, Jimmy reached out his hand and grabbed her by the wrist.

"I love you, Amelia," he said tiredly, but still managing to give his wife a smile.

"Love you too. Always," she said back.

Amelia leaned over him and gave Jimmy a quick kiss before walking to the door and going out. Not too long after, Jimmy's eyes began to shut and he drifted off to sleep once again.

* * *

_1989-_

_"Jimmy? Jimmy, where are you?"_

_"In the back."_

_Hannah Novak looked out of the open kitchen window and smiled as her son walked to the house, rumpled comic book clutched in his hand._

_"It's lunch time - go wash your hands."_

_"Okay, Mom," Jimmy said, putting his Superman comic down on the kitchen table and going into the downstairs bathroom._

_Jimmy was scrubbing his hands when the light suddenly began to flicker erratically. He grabbed the towel so he could dry off when he looked over his shoulder and saw something glowing out of the corner of his eye. He turned and -_

Jimmy sat up from his armchair seat, awakened by the doorbell ringing. Rubbing his eyes as he walked, Jimmy opened the door and, on the porch was tall, red haired Roger Martin, his neighbor and best friend.

"Jim, man," Roger said, grasping Jimmy by the forearm in a worried and tight gesture, "you okay?"

"I - yeah, I think I'll be okay."

"Um, I've gotta be going to the office. Work and all that but...just wanted to check in. Make sure you were okay."

"Its fine," Jimmy said, leaning on the doorjamb and feeling some lingering effects from the meds he was going to be on for the foreseeable future.

"Seizures aren't exactly anything to sneeze at, Jim. Those are serious."

"I know. I know..."

Roger gave him a pat on the back. "The missus is home next door - you know, if you need anything."

"Right, yeah I'll call if I have to."

Roger gave him a fleeting smile as he went away.

"Having a poker game this week?" Jimmy called.

"Thinking about it!" Roger shouted back.

"I'm in, if you do."

Roger turned back and grinned. "Awesome."

_Standing in the corner of the room was a bright light, brighter than anything he'd ever seen. Brighter maybe even than the sun. It rippled like an upright wave and suddenly a noise like nails on a chalkboard only a thousand times worse washed over him. He felt his body begin to shake and his vision went black. The last thing he remembered was hearing someone say his name in a reverent whisper._      

 

Amelia called saying she was going to be late and if he could start cooking dinner.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can handle it, Ames."

"Well if it's too much..."

"Amelia - I can cook food. I worked at my parent's diner since I was fifteen years old and worked my way through college as a cook near the university. I'll be fine with making something with the things we have in the house."

"All right, Jimmy. Okay, calm down."

"I am calm!"

"Jimmy..." Amelia said over Jimmy's groan.

"All right. It's fine. I'm fine. Come home when you can."

Amelia hung up and Jimmy walked into the kitchen to see what he had to work with. He opened the refrigerator and there was a pack of uncooked pork chops still in the packaging which he grabbed and then moved on to the counter. After starting a pot of water to boil on the stove, Jimmy started chopping peppers to sauté with the meat. He felt a strange warm wind blowing about the room before it settled and the radio turned on of its own accord. Jimmy turned and put down his knife so he could turn it off...but he didn't. He leaned his ear against the radio and...

"James?"

The radio was talking to him. The _radio_ was talking to him? _The radio was talking to him?!_

"James Novak," the radio said again, "peace be with you."

The radio was...blessing him?

"What, what is this? What's going on?"

"My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the lord."

Jimmy waited a second, put his finger into his ear and, yeah, he was hearing that correctly. "Is this a joke?" Jimmy found himself saying because - how? He believed in angels, of course. But –

"This is - I am not joking," the voice said. "You are special James Novak -"

"Please, call me Jimmy," Jimmy blurted out before he could stop himself.

"...Very well. Jimmy Novak you are special."

"I'm, I'm special?"

"Yes."

"Why me?"

"It is in your blood. A great battle is on the horizon and you are being called to fulfill a role. God has a high purpose for you."

Jimmy moved back a few steps. Battle? "But, I'm only human - what can I do?"

"Have faith and I will show you..."

* * *

Taking the bags out of the backseat of the car, Amelia juggled them along with her keys as she opened the door. She could immediately smell something good coming from the kitchen so she followed her nose and froze. The bags fell from her hands and crashed to the floor. There, at the stove with his hand in a pot of boiling water, stood her husband.

"What the hell are you doing?" she said when her voice came back to her.

Jimmy smiled at her and held up his hand. "It's fine. I'm okay."

"Jimmy..." she said warningly.

"Look," he said, lifting his hand and, indeed he was not burned or blistered. His arm was perfectly fine.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked as Jimmy grabbed a rag to dry himself off.

"Nothing's wrong," Jimmy said distractedly and almost proud. "He asked me to do it."

"Who asked you to do it?"

"Castiel," he said dazed, "to prove my faith. Look. I'm fine. It's a miracle."

"Who's Castiel?"

"An angel," Jimmy said. "Ames, I spoke to an angel."

Amelia opened and closed her mouth several times and walked slowly out of the room. When she was in the den, she reached for the cordless phone and dialed the three numbers subconsciously.

_"911 - What's your emergency?"_

"Please send someone to 428 Crimson Street," Amelia whispered into the phone. "It's my husband - I think he's lost his mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked putting a different point of view of what we saw episodically from Jimmy and then instead showing someone else's side. There'll be more of that in the future. Thank you for reading. Another chapter will hopefully be up soon.


	3. The Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More miracles

Jimmy waited by the door for the ambulance to drive off before turning to find his wife standing several feet away, staring at him furiously. And that was okay.

"Amelia..." he began to say but no, Ames walked away, up the stairs and slammed their bedroom door shut.

Jimmy walked about the downstairs by his lonesome until he happened upon the television which flashed on as he entered the den. He watched as again images flashed across the screen before they stopped on a blinding white light. Jimmy collapsed back into the chair that was behind him, his body shaking but his eyes unseeing.

Except...he was _seeing_.

There was someone else in the room besides him, a being human in shape but made entirely of light like a ghost. Jimmy stood and walked towards the other but the other raised a hand and Jimmy stopped.

" **Not yet,** " the being intoned.

"No?"

" **Soon.** "

And then it was gone and Jimmy was still downstairs, still in the chair. He could still feel the goosebumps on his arms as he walked slowly up the stairs to the master bedroom where he was sure Amelia was already asleep.

Maybe she would listen to him tomorrow. Maybe she’s believe him then.

* * *

The next morning, Jimmy awoke to find the other end of the bed empty and cold. He still had a little over a week before his sick leave would end and he would be required to return to the station. After going through his morning routine upstairs, Jimmy made his way down to make a light breakfast for himself.

He turned on the radio and began cracking a few eggs before going to the refrigerator to find a few leftover peppers to chop and add to make a pretty decent omelet. As Jimmy added the mix to the hot pan, the radio began to get static once again, interrupting 'Livin' on a Prayer' rather ironically.

"Castiel?" Jimmy said to the seemingly empty room.

The lights and everything electric began to flicker and the bulb directly above Jimmy's head exploded with sparks as he ducked.

"Castiel? Please, stop making such a mess," he said again and this time he felt a warmth surround him.

It was odd - a bit like being wrapped up in a warm sweater. Not suffocating just...safe. Suddenly the safety was gone and he was alone again and the radio was playing a completely different song, which Jimmy promptly turned off and finished making his eggs, making sure to pick out all of the little glass shards before digging in.

* * *

It was days later and Amelia was avoiding him. She wouldn't look him in the eyes, only down at his shoes when speaking to him. She would always be in another room, never in the same one right up to bedtime. Amelia was in bed first and out of it before he'd wake up. Claire was always gone when he woke as well, seeing as how she was an assistant counselor at the church's day camp so he wasn’t as upset with her. This was something she’d volunteered to do (at Amelia’s behest).

That just left Jimmy and the specter of Castiel.

After the last time, the two of them sort of had an arrangement where Castiel was always around, just that Jimmy would not see him. He could still sense him in the room though. Wherever he went, the angel wasn't very far behind. Like a puppy.

Maybe he had been home for far too long? Maybe it was time to get back to the office?

Jimmy sat in his favorite armchair with the newspaper and worked on his crossword puzzle.

"Four letter word for 'Paradise lost'?"

Jimmy began to chew on the end of his pencil when a book across the room fell heavily onto the floor. Jimmy slowly got to his feet and peered down at the open page of the encyclopedia.

"Eden? Oh, that's the answer."

Jimmy put the book back onto the shelf and walked to fill in the answer. After another twenty minutes where Castiel actually managed to help him more than he'd believed an angel possibly could, Jimmy could feel his own boredom begin to become tangible.

"Castiel, I'm going to take a walk."

Jimmy heard a whooshing noise followed by a screech which either meant the angel was fine with it or it'd left. He left his house and reached the end of the street before he felt that warm presence against his back.

"Decided to come with?" Jimmy asked the empty space.

The lady who was sweeping her porch stared at him as he passed, talking to what appeared to be empty space but Jimmy knew he wasn't on his own. He walked and he walked, talking to Castiel about everything from his childhood, to world history. His hopes and dreams for his family. He was so busy paying attention to the invisible presence, he didn't notice that he was in the middle of a busy intersection talking loudly to no one until he began to hear the shouting.

Not thinking, Jimmy turned and held out his hand and the front end of an SUV folded in on itself as though it were in a high speed accident with another vehicle. Jimmy was miraculously safe, three feet away but, at the sound of the car crunching, people on the street exited their homes to see what had happened.

He stared down at his hands as the man came out from his car, dumbstruck.

"Castiel?" Jimmy asked. He looked up and suddenly he was no longer outside but standing smack in the middle of his living room once again, safe and sound with no one the wiser.

* * *

He knew he couldn't tell Amelia. He knew he couldn't tell Roger. A priest might've been an obvious solution but he didn't feel comfortable telling anyone he didn't know on a personal level what had been happening.

There was a freak thunderstorm the next afternoon and Claire arrived home early from camp.

"How was it today, bud? Good?"

"We were playing outside when the rain started and then they were all like 'get on the buses now'. Did you _feel_ how hot it was this morning? We were hoping we could've been outside in the storm for little longer y'know - to cool off a little?"

"That's weird."

"Yeah - so...where's mom?"

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders and took a sharp breath in. "I don't know."

Out of the blue, Claire wrapped her arms around his middle and held on tightly.

"Hey now, what's this for?" Jimmy asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"You just looked like you needed a hug."

A wind whooshed through the room and both Jimmy and Claire pulled away from each other at the same exact time.

"What was that?" Claire asked fearfully staring around the room. The light bulb in the nearest lamp exploded and Claire screamed and held onto her father even tighter. "What was _that_?"

"I don't know sweetheart," Jimmy said with a frown. "How about you go upstairs, get a shower and we'll play 'Go Fish'?"

Claire stared at the lamp for a bit longer before turning to her father and saying, "Make it 'Poker' and you've got a deal."

Jimmy chuckled and sent her on her way. He watched her as she walked off. Claire...he couldn't burden her with this either.

"Looks like I'm on my own."

Claire and Jimmy were still playing two hours later when Amelia walked through the door.

"Mom, hey I'm home early," Claire said, sending her father an apologetic look and leaving the room to talk about the day she'd been having. Jimmy sighed and leaned back in his chair before he felt a need to look at the empty chair across from him.

"Castiel?" he whispered as both Claire and Amelia walked into the room, catching him square in the act. Immediately, Amelia's nostrils flared and her expression closed off.

 "Um, Daddy?"

"Yes, Claire?" Jimmy said, standing and pushing in his chair.

He followed them into the kitchen and while Amelia began to bring out pots and pans to make dinner, Claire wrapped her arms around her father's waist and hugged him again.

"What's all this hugging about? Isn’t it embarrassing for a teen to hug their father so much?" Jimmy asked, putting his hand on the top of her head.

Claire looked up to him and smiled. "Now you _really_ looked like you _really_ needed one."

Amelia banged a pot on top of the stove.

"Claire, how about you go upstairs and get yourself ready for dinner," Jimmy said, taking the cue that Claire needed to leave the room.

Claire gave him another smile and a quick squeeze before leaving.

"Amelia," Jimmy broached.

"Have you even been taking your meds?" Amelia asked once she was sure her daughter's ears were far enough away to hear.

"Of course," Jimmy lied.

Everyday Jimmy took one pill from the plastic container, looked at it and tossed it into the toilet and flushed.

When Amelia turned to look at him, Jimmy froze in place as she raised a hand to his face and touched his cheek gently.

"You've been scaring me, Jim."

Jimmy took her hand into his and kissed it. "I'm fine, Amelia. Everything is going to be fine. You'll see."

Amelia put her hand around his head, the other around his waist and hugged him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading. More to come soon.


	4. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy loses his job and his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue is once again taken from episode 4x20 'The Rapture'

Labor Day came and went without much fanfare. Claire was back in school and already struggling with her pre-algebra class. Ever since Jimmy was back on the job, he was only given the desk duties because the bosses didn't think he was ready to get "back on the road" so to speak.

The numbers on the pages were starting to bleed together and his eyes were bothering him more and more with the passing days. He probably needed glasses or more sleep or...something.

"What do you think, Cas?" Jimmy asked the chair he'd placed next to him.

Somehow he just knew that the angel was always right next to him, despite the fact that he couldn't actually see or hear him sometimes. Castiel was just on another wavelength - or so he said.

"Mr. Novak," one of the office secretaries, Julia said at his door, "Mr. Harris would like to have a word with you."

Weird. Jimmy stood and fixed his tie, walking around Castiel's seat and following the girl into the hallway. On the way, Julia shot him a few nervous glances over her shoulder. They reached Mr. Harris' office a few seconds later and she extended her hand, telling him that he go in and she shut the door behind her.

Sitting in the office were a few other people besides Mr. Harris. Mr. Peterman, Mrs. Livingston and Mr. Youngstown, the head of the company.

"Mr. Novak, please have a seat," Mr. Harris said, extending a hand to the one single chair before them.

Jimmy adjusted his tie once more and sat down.

* * *

Jimmy could smell the meal that Amelia was already cooking, the minute he opened the door.

"Claire," Amelia called, "wash up. You've only got forty-five minutes until girl scouts."

"It's me, Ames."

"Jimmy?" Amelia came into the room to find her husband struggling to carry a large cardboard box full of picture frames and other office related do-dads. "They let you go?" Amelia asked with sad eyes, rubbing his back gently.

"Yeah. They were making some cuts to save money and...Look, Amelia. We'll be okay. I have a feeling something amazing is going to happen soon."

Amelia stilled in her movement. "You do?"

"God will provide."

"God?"

Jimmy smiled and leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek. He left her standing in the hall and called over his shoulder, "Call it a hunch."

* * *

The days dragged passed slowly and after the first week and a half Amelia began to not so subtly suggest Jimmy get out there, look through the papers and the internet and find a new job. Jimmy 'yeah, yeah, yeah'd' her and then went back to writing in his little journal, smirking to himself every so often. Amelia wanted to question him so badly about it but kept putting it off, thinking he'd come to her himself when he was ready.

One night, after Jimmy had gone to bed and Claire was putting the finishing touches on one of her class projects, Amelia snuck into the drawer of Jimmy's desk where she knew his journal was and opened it. She stared down at its pages uncomprehendingly. Page after page was filled with symbols and lines, none of which even resembled real letters or words.

"Amelia?"

Amelia turned from the notebook to find her husband wearing his sleep clothes, rubbing his eyes and staring between her and his open journal.

"Where did you -?"

"What is this?" Amelia asked, standing and holding the book open in her hands.

Jimmy swallowed and reached out his hand but Amelia threw down the book and walked out of the room.

"Ames, wait," Jimmy said, following her.

"No. Jimmy, this has gone on far enough."

"Ames."

" _Far enough._ "

Jimmy stopped and walked back into the den, taking his journal and sitting down on the couch. Amelia came back and in her hand was a cylindrical, orange container.

"Take the pills," she commanded.

 Instead of raising his hand, Jimmy stared down at the floor and said, "I'm not sick."

"Jimmy," she tried again, pleadingly, "take the pills."

"I know this is hard to understand," Jimmy said, looking her straight in the eyes, "but he chose me."

So, they were back to this again. The insanity.

"Castiel," she hissed, like the poison that it was, "the _angel._ "

"He's spoken to me now, Ames, a dozen times."

How could he not see? How could he be so...so blind?

"Hey," he said then, "you believe in God, don't you?"

With her voice barely shaking, Amelia stared at her husband as uncomprehendingly as she did the notebook.

"What kind of question is that? Of course."

She'd been praying to him nonstop, since all of this, this utter madness, began.

"And angels?" Jimmy questioned next.

"Yes, Jimmy," she whispered, lest Claire hear her parents arguing.

"So, why is it then so hard for you to believe that they're talking to me?"

She could count all of the reasons and she needed more than two hands to do it. How could Jimmy not see? How could he be just so utterly blind?

"Jimmy, you sell ad time for A.M. radio."

"No, he said that I'm special," Jimmy said, sounding more and more like an unperturbed child. "It's in my blood."

What did that even mean? There was definitely something in his blood, all right.

"And what does that mean, it's in your blood, hm?"

"He didn't say."

Of course not.

"He just said that God has chosen me for a higher purpose."

He sounded so decisive. So sure. It was frightening.

"To do what?"

"It's God's will. Not really my place to question it."

Jimmy must've finally noticed that she was worried because he got her to sit down next to him, holding her hands inside of his own and looking at her, really and truly _willing_ her to try and believe what he was saying.

"This is a blessing. This is the most important thing that ever happened to me."

Her words caught in her throat. "I thought we were the most important things to ever happen to you."

"Hey," he whispered, gripping her hands now tighter, "have faith."

"Jimmy," Amelia said, trying not to cry, "You’re scaring me."

"God will provide."

No. Nonononononono no. God will -? God. Amelia pulled away from the man she loved (thought loved her) and said to him, as plainly as she could, "If you won't take your pills and if you won't get help, then I'm going to take Claire to my mother's in the morning."

Jimmy didn't try to say anything to that. Amelia walked up the stairs and stopped by their beautiful daughter's bedroom to find her slumped over her desk, fast asleep in her textbook.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Amelia said, shutting the lamp on the desk and kissing her on top of the head.

She should probably get her into her bed, to a place where she'll be more comfortable. But she just wanted to let her rest. Her worries about school and church and her father had been keeping her up most nights and Claire really just needed to be calm for the moment. Sometimes, she was just as stubborn as her father.

* * *

Jimmy remained downstairs, thinking to himself for hours afterwards. Castiel had again spoken to him just yesterday afternoon, telling him that the time was nigh for his help to be needed. Jimmy didn't really know what was so important about this night but Castiel _needed_ him.

He got up from the couch and removed the journal from where Amelia had put it down. Opening it to the final page, Jimmy looked over the words that Castiel told him meant _Righteous Man_ , _hell_ , and _sword_. What was he getting himself into? What did Castiel want from him? He'd tried asking him for the past several days but every time he'd asked the angel, he got nothing until hours later when Castiel would return and speak to him again.

Amelia was going to leave him in the morning.

He'd heard every word that she said and, God help him, he began having doubts about all of this. This was important. An angel asking him to help with a special mission? No one would dare say no to that.

But what about his family?

He didn't want to leave them. Couldn't. But, when all of it was said and done, did he really have a choice in the matter to begin with?

When he reached the bedroom, he stubbed his toe against the bags waiting beside the door. Jimmy went to their bed and leaned over Amelia, giving her a single kiss on the cheek and then cupped her face in his left hand.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Amelia, still fast asleep, turned over and pulled the comforter up higher against her shoulders. Jimmy used the moonlight to guide him to the closet where his best Sunday suit was waiting for him.

"You'll see, Ames," Jimmy whispered while tying his tie. "This was something I was always meant to do."

Once fully dressed, Jimmy hesitated before removing the gold band from his finger, kissing it, and placing it gently on Amelia's nightstand.

"I love you."

Jimmy looked back one final time to the room and closed it shut behind him. He licked his lips and got as far he could before hearing a quiet moan from the bedroom beside the stairs. Peeking his head inside, Jimmy found his little girl fast asleep at her desk with a textbook working as a makeshift pillow.

"Claire," he sighed.

He walked into the room and, in a one person lift, carried her to her bed where she would be most comfortable. Immediately she sighed dreamily and rolled onto her side to face the window that faced the front yard.

"Sweetheart," Jimmy whispered, kneeling next to her bed and giving her a kiss on the cheek, " _you_ are the most important thing to ever happen to me. Always."

Knowing that if he stayed for a second more that he'd never be able to leave, Jimmy left the room and continued downstairs where destiny awaited him.

* * *

Claire heard the front door click closed and sighed to herself. The last thing she remembered was doing her homework, summarizing the chapter the teacher wanted them to read for the next day. But wasn't she sitting at her desk?

"I wanna help you. I'm about to lose my family here if you don't tell me how."

Was that her father? Who was he talking to?

Claire sat up from her bed, just as a beam of light brightened her room so it was as though it were the middle of the day.

Daddy?

Claire ran from her bedroom and down the stairs, almost falling halfway had she not grabbed onto the banister. She opened the front door and walked outside to find the light gone and her father looking strangely at his raised hand.

"Daddy?" Claire asked.

Her father turned and looked at her, staring _through_ her and tilted his head ever so slightly off to the side.

He turned away from her and said in a voice she could barely recognize, "I am not your father."

Claire watched him walk away from her and somehow knew that what he'd said was right. He wasn't her father. Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this story. There is only an epilogue to follow and possibly a chapter of notes I made that didn't exactly make it into the story but helped to build the universe of it.


	5. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy sacrifices for his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lines lifted once more from 4x20 'The Rapture'

He was dying. Here he was, in the middle of a warehouse, in the middle of the night with his recently possessed wife, his currently possessed daughter and two hunters (one with a blood mustache on his face) and he was going to bleed out from a gut wound. He looked up into the eyes of his beloved child and couldn't find her soul at all in her stony, ethereal gaze.

She leaned over him and said, "Of course we keep our promises. Of course you have our gratitude. You served us well. Your work is done. It's time to go home now. Your real home. You'll rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Rest now, Jimmy."

He could hear Amelia stifle a sob somewhere nearby. He couldn't do this to her.

"No," he spoke through the blood filling his mouth.

It was horrible enough when he'd left before. He couldn't imagine what it would be like for her to lose both of them. That would be worse than a nightmare. That would be worse than hell itself.

"Claire?"

She had to still be in there. She had to ( _had to)_ hear him.

"She's with me now. She's chosen. It's in her blood, as it was in yours."

Damn his blood. Damn his biology, his DNA. He had to do something. His body below the waistline was losing all feeling so he didn't know how much it would help. But he had to try.

"Please, Castiel," he pleaded to the angel. "Me, just take me. (Not her, please leave my family be) Take me, please."

Castiel looked back to the brothers once and then back at him.

"I wanna make sure you understand," she said, leaning forwards, "You won't die or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture a hundred, a thousand more like it."

Jimmy took a shaky breath, thinking back to the words the younger Winchester said. He really couldn't go home again. So be it.

"It doesn't matter," Jimmy said shakily, wavering. He swallowed and said as strongly as he could, "You take me. **Just take me.** "

Castiel actually hesitated for a moment and he could see in its eyes the surprise that he'd so readily accepted to leave his family once more. It didn't understand and Jimmy hoped one day that Castiel would.

"As you wish."

Castiel touched him on the cheeks and Jimmy felt the light once more, filling him up and blanketing him in heat and power and it was just as horrible and wonderful as it was the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to again thank all of you who took the time to read this story. Jimmy is a character so often ignored in the grand scheme of things and I wanted to do him an honor and give him a past.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is 2 years in the making. I always wanted to kind of give Jimmy some sort of past so here is my meager attempt to do so. This starts in Red Sky at Morning and, next time, we'll get to some meatier parts from what we saw in The Rapture. Why RSAM? Because the name Castiel was mentioned (as a throwaway) so I always sort of wondered what if there was something about Jimmy all along. What if Jimmy was in Massachusetts at the same time the Winchesters were and never knew it.
> 
> Thank you for reading the first part. The next will be up in a week.


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